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Mommy Talk
September 2007
Friday September 28, 2007
Posted by: Janine Anderson at 12:34PM CST on September 28, 2007
One of the funniest things people say to my husband and I now that we're expecting is "That baby's going to change your life." Well, duh. Since we're first-time parents, there are a lot of specifics that we don't know. I don't know exactly how many diapers we'll go through each day. Or how many hours he'll sleep at a time. I don't know how loud he'll cry, or if the swing we've got in a corner is going to soothe him. But we do know that having a baby means change. Just being pregnant has meant change. I've never slept this much, eaten so much pizza, been kicked from the inside, had a belly so big it blocked my view of my feet. My friends who have children have been great, giving us a glimpse at the kind of changes that expand your heart. The love you feel for your child, and the joy of watching them grow. But there's this segment of the population who seem obsessed with informing us that NOTHING WILL EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN. That's kind of the point. If we had wanted things to stay the same, we wouldn't have been interested in having a baby to begin with. We're looking at it as an adventure. We get to explore this new person, and watch as he explores the world. To us it may look like change, but for him, it's laying the foundation for the rest of his life. What changes did your children bring to your life? Monday September 24, 2007
Posted by: mlaehr at 9:46AM CST on September 24, 2007
"Shake a tail feather!" I say with a smile on my face. My 5-year-old calmly adjusts his school bag, grabs his lunch box and climbs out of the van. His shoe is untied, I notice. But I grab his hand and hurry him into the building anyway. We get into the class with about one minute to spare. "Tie your shoe honey," I tell him now. Now that I can breathe again. Now that we aren’t late, or not too late anyway. We are not a good pair for getting to school on time. I am a big-time night owl. When I was in high school, I did OK in my classes. I finished my homework. But I would stay up late into the night, sometimes until 3 a.m. reading. I would bet that a week never passed that I wasn’t late to school at least once. Seriously. This was less of a problem in college, where I could schedule my own classes. And my first job here at the newspaper was second shift. I loved working from 2:30 to 11:30 p.m. I would stay up reading or watching TV until about 1 a.m., get up around 9 a.m., make coffee and relax. It was cool, but it’s not a schedule that works with children. Even after I moved on to daytime hours, I still didn’t HAVE to be here at any specific time. If I got up a little late and didn’t make it in until 9:30 a.m., that was OK. But now I HAVE to be up at 6:30 a.m. five days a week. I have to, because I have to be out the door and bringing my son to school by 7:45 a.m. If we leave any later than that, we’re cutting it too close. Unfortunately, we leave later than that most days. In addition to my dragging butt in the morning, my son isn’t all that speedy either. He takes his time making his bed and putting on his clothes. He and his brother can drag out breakfast like nobody’s business. I try to be efficient by laying out clothes at bedtime, packing his lunch before I go to bed, etc. But nearly every day, I feel like we’re racing against the clock to get to school on time. And I’ve learned that children this age don’t really get the idea of "hurry up." They seem to have no concept of time management. Then again, I can’t really point fingers can I? -Marci Friday September 21, 2007
Posted by: mlaehr at 9:07AM CST on September 21, 2007
Reality came up and slapped me in the face this week. On Sunday we learned that the 31-year-old wife of my husband’s cousin had died from a brain aneurysm. They have three children, ages 2, 4 and 6. They’re just babies. And she had to leave them without warning. The parenting lesson I learned this week is, you never know when your life will end. You never know at what stage you will have to leave your children. We all want to believe we will watch them graduate from high school, get married, have our grandchildren. But no one can count on that. It prompted me to ask myself if I have given my children what they need for futures that I might not be a part of. Have I taught them enough about inner strength and faith to endure the challenges that lie ahead in their lives? Have I given them enough freedom to be confident in future decisions? Have I taught them what it means to be loved and to love unconditionally? Have I instilled a thirst for learning that will carry them to their full potentials professionally and emotionally? Have I shown them that there is abundant beauty in the world that they should never take for granted? No. I haven’t even scratched the surface. But for as long as I live I’ll keep trying, because one day I'll have to leave them. And I don't know that I'll have a chance to say good-bye. -Marci Wednesday September 19, 2007
Posted by: Janine Anderson at 4:04PM CST on September 19, 2007
This isn't really about parenting. It's about a pregnancy quirk. Namely, about cravings. I haven't gotten any weird ones, but, when I want something, I really want it. For the first three months, all I wanted to eat was macaroni and cheese, pizza and soup. I blame that on the nausea. Now, it's more likely to be a hot fudge sundae, fresh peaches or a hamburger and fries. Today, it's Dang! Butterscotch Root Beer. I was at lunch and saw one of the trucks drive down Main Street. Then I saw it stop on Sixth Street for quite some time. I stopped in at the three nearby businesses to see where they'd delivered some of that butterscotchy goodness, but no luck! The very nice bartender at McAuliffe's on the Square said that the other McAuliffe's (on Taylor and Meachem) had regular Dang! in the soda gun, but it's just not the same. I'm going to have to start calling around to find this stuff. Anyone know if it's stocked locally? Monday September 17, 2007
Posted by: eyoung at 1:24PM CST on September 17, 2007
It’s dinnertime and Sophie, my picky eater, doesn’t like the menu. She doesn’t want any fish. She doesn’t want any rice. She only wants vegetables — and a piece of buttered bread. My husband has declined her request for the bread, insisting that she start with what’s on the table. So my Sophie — my serious, sensitive, oh-so-smart, oh-so-stubborn, 5-going-on-15-year-old Sophie — turns to a higher power. She folds her hands, squeezes her eyes shut and says, "God, my Dad won’t give me bread." She pauses (I assume to give Him time to respond), then opens her eyes and turns back to her dad. "Do you know what God said?" She’s very serious, and is giving my husband a look that says he should know better. "God said" — and she takes on a deep, chanting voice — " ‘Listen to God’s rule, and do God’s rule. Give your children some bread when they need some and want some.’ " She couldn’t have sounded more like a Catholic priest if she had been wearing robes and holding her hands upward as she blessed the bread before Communion. And that is just one of many instances in which the Almighty has sided with my children. ... (more)Wednesday September 12, 2007
Posted by: mlaehr at 2:23PM CST on September 12, 2007
What do you do with a child who wants to do everything perfect the first time he tries? My 5-year-old is a perfectionist. He likes his shirts buttoned a certain way. He LOVES to clean his room and make his bed. (No complaints there.) His costumes have to be complete: cape, outfit, boots, gloves, mask and tools. This Batman will not take a cape and mask only. The problem is that at his age he is learning new things every day. Sometimes he struggles with not being able to do something new perfect the first time. For example, when he was learning to tie his shoes, he became very frustrated when he couldn’t do it right away. I explained to him that it takes practice to get good at almost everything. I worked with him for a few more days, and now he is an expert shoe-tier. But that was just one hurdle. And sometimes he’ll not try something for fear he won't be able to do it "right", or give up too quickly when he’s not mastering something difficult right away. Any advice? -Marci With increasing C-section and maternal death rates, what options to mothers-to-be really have?
Posted by: Janine Anderson at 12:45PM CST on September 12, 2007
I was talking with someone about pregnancy today, and he said he could see a future where a scheduled C-section is the norm. That's scary. It got me thinking about a story I read late last month on how the maternal death rate has risen over the past several years. (You can read the full story here.) In 2004 an average of 13 women died out of every 100,000 live births. That's still a really small number, but the story went on to say that 2003's rate of 12 deaths per 100,000 was the first time the rate had climbed above 10 since 1977. That same article said an increased use of C-sections may have a lot to do with the rise in maternal deaths. C-sections now account for 29 percent of all births. That seems phenomenally high to me. Now, I'm not against C-sections. They save lives. But as a soon-to-be-delivering mother, it concerns me that the medical community could be pushing for unnecessary C-sections or just listening to women who want them for a non-medical reason. Ultimately, I pay my doctor lots of money to help me make informed medical decisions. Comfort and convenience rank far lower than health and safety. I hope that the medical staff with me the day I go into labor sees things the same way. But if they don't, I want to be prepared to ask for the kinds of things I want, and informed enough to know whether there's another option. Friday September 7, 2007
Posted by: mlaehr at 10:41AM CST on September 7, 2007
I have decided to laugh at my children. Recently I’ve made a conscious decision to start finding more amusement in the naughty things my 4 and 5 year old boys do. If for no other reason than to keep myself sane. ... (more)Wednesday September 5, 2007
Posted by: Janine Anderson at 10:30AM CST on September 5, 2007
I was researching some baby product or other on the babybargains.com message boards over the weekend. I don't remember what the product was anymore, but I ended up clicking on the "Kid Food" topic. The top entry on it was an alert that the authors have withdrawn their recommendations for a whole mess of baby bottles because they contain Bisphenol A. They listed their reasoning here, along with some information for concerned parents. The baby bottles I had planned on using were on their bad list, so I went into search mode, trying to find something that didn't have that chemical in it. Some companies make bottles with a different plastic, but the bottles are super expensive -- like $10 per bottle. Glass bottles are safe, until you drop them and they shatter. I ultimately found another alternative that's affordable and seems to be well-liked. There are so many things that can hurt a child. House plants, cleaning supplies, the stove. There is no rule, no one thing I can do to keep a little one safe. I don't want to be the kind of parent that tries to remove all potential threats from the environment. But I also see no reason to knowingly expose a baby to something that could harm them. It seems like you can find research that says just about everything will harm a child. From pesticides to lead-painted toys to baby bottles, there's a threat everywhere. And, there's usually a study that says the exact opposite, too. I know these threats won't go away as the baby grows up. Then, I'll have a child who wants to climb trees like I did or smack flaming tennis balls with a hockey stick like my husband. What are some of the things that you did to keep your kids safe? What things did they do that made you nuts, once you found out what they had been up to? Tuesday September 4, 2007
Posted by: eyoung at 12:41PM CST on September 4, 2007
So my oldest daughter -- who turned 5 overnight, I swear -- started kindergarten today. I think I'm remarkably calm. I only teared up once, and that was when I was already at work and my husband reported that the big-day drop-off went OK. I've even been able to concentrate on a few other things, which is quite the feat when your heart is in a kindergarten classroom 25 minutes away ... And now there's only three hours and 11 minutes until I can pick her up ... Oh, how I hope that she's loving her first day. How was your house this morning? Any back-to-school jitters? |
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