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Mommy Talk
March 2008
Monday March 31, 2008
Posted by: eyoung at 1:53PM CST on March 31, 2008
"Your dad was funny, right, Mom?" We’re halfway to school and my 5-year-old is alone in the back seat. I glance at her in the rearview mirror. She’s looking out the window at the frozen fields and stubborn snow. "What made you wonder that?" I ask. "All the pictures of him," she says. "He looks like he was funny." I know which pictures she’s talking about. There’s a photo on our fridge of my dad in mismatched socks, making a goofy face in our old back yard. There are two photos at my mom’s house of him in freezing Lake Michigan. In one, he’s doing a handstand in the water, so all we see are two silly looking feet. And an old photo from my brother’s babyhood shows my dad making an even goofier face and wearing baby booties on his ears. "He wasn’t just funny," I tell my daughter, feeling the grief build all over again. I push it down with a half-laugh and say in my own silly voice, "He was hi-LAR-ious." We drive a few more blocks. Another glance tells me she’s looking at me now — studying my eyes in the rearview mirror. "You miss him, right, Mom?" she asks matter-of-factly. "Yep," I say lightly. Every minute of every day. ... (more)Friday March 28, 2008
Posted by: eyoung at 4:41PM CST on March 28, 2008
So my 5-year-old puked all over our living room sofa on Sunday night. (Bridget, you may not want to read this, considering your new-sofa bliss.) First thing Monday morning, I called Company X, our warranty service provider, which I won't name because I worry I'll void the warranty. When we bought the sofa two years ago, we purchased the five-year fabric protection plan. Our children were 1-1/2 and 3-1/2 at the time. And as any parent of young children knows, those are prime ages for needing fabric protection: You’ve got Play-doh, potty training, grape juice, marker, chocolate syrup, squishy blueberries, oatmeal, Elmer’s glue, glitter paint, mud … and oh yeah, vomit. The fabric protection plan promised to fix all these and more – and if repair wasn’t possible, then it would be replaced. So here I am, sitting on hold with Company X five days later, waiting to hear if they received my fax. See, first you have to call them and give them all the information over the phone. Then they give you a claim number. Then you have to fax them copies of everything you got when you purchased the sofa, including proof of purchase, proof of delivery, dates, cost, etc., along with that claim number. “You need to fax that within 30 days,” the representative told me. Like I’d want to sit on vomit for 30 days. So I faxed everything first thing Tuesday morning. I called Tuesday afternoon to see if they received it. They hadn’t. I called Wednesday to see if they had received it. “We’ve probably got it, but it needs to be scanned into our computer system, and that hasn’t happened yet,” the representative said politely. “Call back on Friday.” So it’s Friday and I’m sitting on hold. For 18 minutes now. At home, I’m sitting on towels covering six-day-old vomit. And every time I call Company X, I hear this: “If a service technician has already been to your home, please allow 14 business days for our response." Fourteen days? I haven't even gotten to the technician-at-my-home part. So I could soon be sitting on 20-day-old vomit??? I don’t know why this surprises me. But I guess I’m blogging to get some feedback. Have you purchased furniture protection plans? Have you ever tried to use them? Are we just idiots for buying this thing? I could have spent the $69 paying someone to clean the vomit off my sofa, and I’d be relaxing on vomit-free cushions by now. I guess I’m an idealist. Because I pictured the conversation with Company X going more like this: Me: “Hello. My daughter puked all over our sofa last night.” Helpful Warranty Representative: “Yuck. That is gross. We wouldn’t want that to seep into your cushions and forever alter your seating conditions. We’ll be right there.” Me: “Thanks!” Doorbell: “Ding-dong.” Naive, aren't I? OK, it’s now been 22 minutes. I’m hanging up and calling back. That’s another idiotic strategy I employ when I think I’m doing the smart thing. Oh wait, they answered!! Glee and joy!! They received my information -- more glee and joy!!! And I should hear from a technician within seven to 10 business days. Then it will be up to 14 more business days before I know the next step. Lovely. Fine. FINE. I'm sure someone else in my family will vomit in the meantime. I'll just have to be sure to aim them at the sofa. - Elizabeth
Breastfeeding in public: Any tips?
Posted by: Janine Anderson at 12:23PM CST on March 28, 2008
We've got our first big family outing slated for Saturday. We're packing up the peanut and heading to Miller Park for an exhibition game against the KC Royals. A little baseball, some hot dogs, roasted nuts. And with $10 tickets, even if the kiddo starts screaming, we haven't really wasted much money. Granted, we haven't been much for the stay-home school of parenting. I was hauling him to cafes and coffee shops the first month we were home. While he often slept through the whole thing, there were times I had to feed him. Once, in a booth at Culver's, after he woke up screaming 20 minutes into a 70-minute car ride. Since he's a breastfed baby, I had to get comfortable with quick-and-discreet nursing. I've been doing pretty well with it, but I've also had the luxury of pretty roomy accommodations. Even the booth wasn't that bad. I'm a bit nervous about the baseball game, though. The stands are pretty tight quarters, and while I'm a pretty fearless nurser, I also try to be considerate of the people around me. I doubt that any stranger really wants to be six inches away from my breastfeeding baby. What would you do? How do you take care of baby business in a big public place? Wednesday March 26, 2008
Posted by: eyoung at 12:37PM CST on March 26, 2008
My baby girl turned 4 this morning. She’s actually turning 4 at exactly 12:45 p.m. That’s when she entered this crazy world -- a bald, pink, smushy little thing, 6 pounds, 13 ounces, 19 inches long. No one really asks anymore, but she’s now 32.5 pounds and 40 inches long. I’m feeling everything moms feel when their youngest turns another year older: I’m proud, nostalgic, awestruck, emotional, a little sad, a little teary. I’m definitely feeling another year older myself. And today I’m the one who is clingy, pulling her into a hug every time she dances past me. “Mo-o-o-o-m,” she says, mimicking the annoyance she hears from her big sister. “Nope, you don’t get to say ‘mo-o-o-o-m’ like that yet,” I tease her, and squeeze her even tighter. I’m also feeling a bit of whiplash that it’s gone so fast. I’m like one of the old-timer moms now. No more toddler clothes, she’s in the “little girls” sizes. No more quarterly trips to the photo studios; the pictures on my desk are over a year old. The baby books are long forgotten; I can’t even find a birth certificate for her 4K registration. I’m a “been there, done that” mom. There are no more “What to Expect” books to answer my questions. She’s officially no longer a toddler, so we’ve graduated to more serious parenting books, which I’ve pretty much abandoned anyway. The formative years might be over, and I’m a little panicked: What didn’t I do? What did I miss? What have I done wrong? I’ve passed the stage where my children can get away with things just because they’re cute. Now we’re to this new stage -- this new stage of parenting KIDS, not babies. Raising people. Letting them be who they are. And despite my nostalgia, this new stage is very cool. ... (more)Tuesday March 25, 2008
Posted by: eyoung at 9:32AM CST on March 25, 2008
My "Mother's Instinct" battled my gut instinct Friday night, and my gut instinct nearly won. My almost 4-year-old woke up vomiting Friday night, throwing up everything she'd eaten all day. It was AWFUL. It was disgusting. It was an awful, disgusting horrible mess -- wait, must pause now because I'm getting a little sick just typing about it ... (OK, deep breath, new paragraph). Anyway, let's just say it was really unpleasant. And at one point in our evening o' fun, I'm in the bathroom with my baby girl, and she's throwing up, and I have to step away. I have to call for my husband to take over because I'm about to get sick myself. The heaving, the sounds, the smell -- there was no way I was going to make it even one more second. So I stepped away. What kind of mother does that? What kind of mother steps away from her own child mid-vomit?? And then, just as my husband is squeezing by me to reach our sick kid, I'm OK again. I'm back at her side, holding her shoulders and telling her she's going to be OK. Mother's instinct defeated gut instinct after all. But for the rest of the night, I was completely nauseous. I hate vomit. I hate vomit, and I hate bloody noses. When we had our first baby in 2002, I told my husband that I would cut fingernails if he took bloody noses. We should have negotiated on some of the other gross aspects of parenting back then, too: "I'll handle middle-of-the-night vomit, if you handle public places vomit." "You take all boogers and snot-filled sneezes, but if they ever get head lice, that job will be mine." "Deal." ... (more)Monday March 24, 2008
Posted by: Janine Anderson at 11:08AM CST on March 24, 2008
We started calling our kiddo Peanut in the hospital. My mom jokes that he's now deserving an upgrade, to Walnut, since he's gotten so big. Droolface is a new one, inspired by his constantly leaking mouth. Messmaker is a rarity, but sometimes incredibly appropriate, due to the volume of stuff coming from one end or the other. I'm sure there will be more nicknames coming from grandparents, friends and aunts and uncles as the years go by. It's so much fun to hear the cute names people give the little guy. What nicknames do your children have? Who gave it to them? Friday March 21, 2008
Posted by: Janine Anderson at 11:36AM CST on March 21, 2008
Scott and I both had the day off yesterday, and we managed to squeeze coffee with a friend in the long to-do list. Afterwards, she sent us an e-mail saying a bunch of really great things about how we seem calm, relaxed and happy, that the baby seems happy and loved, and that we're doing a nice job. We're lucky. We've got friends and family who have been incredibly supportive of us as parents. Though we have our share of people who have looked at us strangely when they hear we use cloth diapers, that I was taking the baby on a plane at 6 weeks, that we didn't get rid of our two cats before the baby was born, and that he still sleeps in our room. My sister is due with her first baby in about two months. I will be there to support her - not criticize her - as she and her husband make it through those hard first weeks and months. I wish we could all, as parents, make a promise to support each other. No one else really knows what it's like to be a parent, and if we can't look to our parenting colleagues for help, where else can we turn? Wednesday March 19, 2008
Posted by: mlaehr at 10:13AM CST on March 19, 2008
When the thermometer hit 50 degrees last week I happily shooed my 4 and 6-year-old boys outside into the backyard after school. They cruised the backyard, digging forgotten toys out from under not-yet-melted snow, and running through the pine trees along our fence. I left the window open a little and listened for arguing or calls for help that didn’t come. Instead, I caught joyful glimpses of them swinging on the swings, tromping through the brown grass and pulling their summer toys out of the deck box. I love that they are old enough to play in the yard without constant supervision (It’s fenced in and the gate is locked). They get to explore without a hovering mom, and I get to load up the dishwasher without being interrupted by a hunger, thirsty or need-help-fixing-my-Transformer child. Did I mention that this took place while my 10-month-old daughter was napping? She has recently mastered crawling. She started scooting on her belly about a month ago, but now she’s got the up on the hands and knees movement down pat. She’s like a teenager with a brand new driver’s license. And I can’t keep her out of anything. And she’s fast. She pulls open drawers and kitchen cabinets. She snatches up forbidden Matchbox cars and Spider-Man figures when her brothers have their backs turned. I even caught her chewing on a day-old piece of corn, which she must of dug out from underneath the kitchen table. I can’t leave her alone for a second. Her other fairly new trick is pulling herself up - whether it’s on the ottoman in the family room or the rails of her crib. Soon she’ll be cruising along all the furniture, and in a few months, walking her way through the house. Yikes. As I watched my boys stomp through the wet backyard the other day, climbing the ladder to the top of their swing set, I thought about the independence our kids claim - a little bit more each day, month and year that passes. It’s a little scary, a little sad and a little exciting all at the same time. So try to remind myself as I chase my crawl-a-way daughter around the kitchen that she has to take this step to get to the next. My exhaustive hovering over her now will lead to the day that I can throw open the patio door and let her loose in the backyard with her brothers. What have been the scariest, best, most frustrating or most exciting steps your children have taken lately? Sunday March 16, 2008
Posted by: Janine Anderson at 7:30PM CST on March 16, 2008
Before our little one was born, we got a sling and a Baby Bjorn. I used the Bjorn a lot when he was first born and hated to be put down, but the sling made me a bit nervous, because he seemed so scrunched up that I was afraid he couldn't breathe. Now that he's four months old, holding his head up well, and weighing in at more than 15 pounds, I'm finding the Baby Bjorn puts too much pressure on my neck and shoulders if I wear him while I'm standing up. I'm able to use the sling a bit more now, because he can sit up and support himself a bit. But I don't like wearing either if I'll be moving around too much: They're just not comfortable for me. In two weeks we're bringing the little guy to his first baseball game, and we'll have to carry him into the stadium from the car. We like to camp in the summer, and trails aren't always stroller friendly. And, we've got a family trip planned to Glacier National Park this summer, and I know we'll be wanting a hands-free way to carry him around then. My sister is having a baby in May, and she discovered the Ergo Baby Carrier, which is like a backpack for a baby. It's got a sort of pouchy seat, padded straps, a waist belt and chest strap. While searching for more information about that, I came across the Beco Baby carrier, which is similar, but seems to keep the baby held in closer to you. I also really like the old-school simplicity of the Mei Tei style carriers, like the Kozy Carrier, but I worry that it won't be as supportive or comfortable as the more backpack-y ones. Unfortunately, these carriers seem to be hard to find. I've never seen a Beco or Kozy in person, and have only seen the Ergo at this one shop in Madison. I don't know anyone who owns one of these carriers. With steep price tags ($80-$130), I'm unwilling to shell out for a new one without a bit more info. I'd love to be able to see them in person and get a chance to pop the kiddo in for a few minutes to see how they fit, but I'd settle for some good old-fashioned information from experienced users. Any baby wearers out there who can offer advice? (Side note: I expect to share baby wearing duties with my husband, who's about 8 inches taller than I am.) Tuesday March 11, 2008
Posted by: Janine Anderson at 4:25PM CST on March 11, 2008
Our 4-month-old is just getting to the point where he's shoving everything into his mouth. His hands. Our hands. His sleeves. Our clothes. Every toy we give him. Books. He's also drooling like crazy. Slobber everywhere, all the time. Some people seem to think this means he's cutting teeth. His doctor said it's a big part of the way babies explore their world. Either way, I'm now paying a lot more attention to what's going into his mouth. So far, the only food he's had is breast milk, but he's starting to show some interest in my plate when I hold him on my lap while I'm eating. I planned to breastfeed exclusively for the first six months, and so far I've been able to keep up with his demands. I have to admit, I'm a little nervous about introducing solids. I don't know what to start with or when to start it. My mom advocates giving a bottle of cereal at bedtime, to get him to "sleep through the night," whatever that means. (Side note: He's already a pretty good sleeper, and goes for 4-6 hours the first time he's put down. I'm not particularly sleep-deprived anymore.) One of the things I like about breastfeeding is the control I have over what food the kiddo is getting. I know where it comes from, and what it's made out of. That's going to change as he gets older, but I'm not sure I'm ready to give him Gerber just yet. I'm entertaining thoughts about making as much of his baby food as I can, but don't know where to begin. Any advice from you moms out there? Monday March 10, 2008
Posted by: eyoung at 11:13AM CST on March 10, 2008
It’s 27 degrees outside today, but inside my head, it’s summer. I’m thinking ahead to lazy summer days running through the sprinkler, swinging on the playset, lounging on the deck, riding bikes around the neighborhood. I can taste the lemonade and popsicles already. And I can’t wait. This year, I’m determined to give my children a real summer vacation. Every year since they were born, they’ve been in day care year-round. The first few summers were easy; they didn’t know any better. The last two summers have been more difficult. My daughters caught on that their neighborhood friends were staying home all day, while they were forced into the regular old daily grind. I’d pull out of the driveway in a chorus of moans and groans. And “Well, Mommy has to work, sweetie” is a lame excuse to a 5-year-old. Now that my oldest is in elementary school, I want my daughters to have a real summer break. So I’m trying to piece together a weekly schedule that gives them at least three days at home. Since registration for many area summer programs is in March or April, I’ve had to fast-forward my brain a bit to finalize our plans. But by golly, I think I’ve got it. Two days a week, I’ll take the youngest to day care and the oldest to her at-school summer program. Then they’ll spend one day with grandma, one day with a sitter, and one day with me. (Yay!) As long as I remember what day it is, so I know which kid to take where and with whom, we should be fine. What do you do for child care over the summer months? If your kids stay home all day, do they get bored? If they must go to day care or a summer care program, how do you sell them on it?? And I know this has come up on Mommy Talk before, but I can’t find the old posts: What’s the going rate around here for full-time child care in your home? Maybe if we're all thinking summer, the warmth in all our heads will melt the ice in all our driveways. "Summer, summer, summer, summer ...."
Wednesday March 5, 2008
Posted by: Janine Anderson at 2:20PM CST on March 5, 2008
In the hospital, just after my son was born, we marveled at his tiny body and giant hands. My husband, a guitar player, looked at those long fingers and saw them plucking strings and spanning frets. I saw them reaching across octaves on a piano keyboard. Before he was even born, my husband's uncle had visions of the little guy on hockey skates. A friend who has seen me perform in several plays asked if our son would be taking the stage. Three are so many things to share with him - all the activities my husband and I love - and it gets me thinking about how my parents guided my development. There were things they made me do, things they let me do because I wanted to, and things we both thought were good ideas. I learned to swim, to ice skate, to ride a bike and play piano. I took gymnastics, swam competitively, auditioned for plays, took up the French horn, sang in choir and chose dance as my double-major in college. My parents rarely said no when I expressed interest in some new thing. Looking back, I realize how great a gift that was. I don't know if they had any specific dreams or desires for me - if they wanted me to be a teacher, an engineer or an artist, for example - but they always encouraged me to explore and learn. My husband and I joke about how our little guy really needs to play the drums so we can have a house band, what we really want is to provide him the safety and support to find his own path. What dreams or desires do you have for your children? How do you support them as they grow? Tuesday March 4, 2008
Posted by: eyoung at 2:33PM CST on March 4, 2008
Last year’s kindergarten registration was a huge day for me. My oldest was heading off to kindergarten, and my husband and I had stressed and debated about where to send her. We visited Catholic schools, Lutheran schools, Montessori schools, the magnet schools. In the end, we enrolled her in the public school in our district, and it’s been a joy ever since. Now it’s time for the next crop of nervous parents to sign up their children for the 2008-2009 school year. The Racine Unified School District will hold registration for 4- and 5-year-old kindergarten from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Wednesday. (The facts: Register your child at his or her attendance area school. Bring the child’s birth certificate or baptismal record, proof of address, and the child’s immunization record. Questions may be directed to 262-631-7194 or 262-619-4563.) I thought this was as good a time as any to ask parents to share their kindergarten stories. Did you "shop around" for a kindergarten, or just head to your area school? Who had more trouble adjusting to kindergarten -- your child, or you? Are you happy with the school you chose? I also thought this was a fine time to share the one tip that made all the difference in my daughter’s adjustment to kindergarten. If your child will be starting 5-year-old kindergarten in the fall, and will be attending a Unified school, consider enrolling him or her in Unified’s summer school/enrichment program. ... (more)Saturday March 1, 2008
Posted by: rak at 11:52PM CST on March 1, 2008
Over the 11 years we've been in our house we've had a number of pets; 2 dogs, 2 ferrets, numerous fish, a mouse, a hamster, a toad that we rescued out of my brother's window well and a bird. We recently re-homed our bird because it was causing alot of discord in our household. I've never given a pet away before and I felt kind of bad about it . I was also worried about the message I was sending to my 4 year old. I don't want her to think it's okay to get pets and then just get rid of them. She wanted to get another pet to take the place of the bird right away and I told her we needed to wait a little while (again, I didn't want to send her the wrong message about pet ownership). So today while we were at the pet store buying dog food she saw a hamster and asked if she could get it. It's been several weeks since the bird 's been gone so I thought getting a hamster would be okay. Her dad and I told her we couldn't get it right away because we had other errands to run and because we wanted to take her to another pet store to see what they had first. At the second pet store we were looking at hamsters and the sales person told us that hamsters aren't really good pets for kids and that they tend to bite alot. He said that gerbils are a little better but that rats and mice actually make better pets. Now I don't know about the rest of you but I've always been under the belief that hamsters were the premiere child's pet so I was suprised to hear that they aren't. To make a long story short, after looking at the rats and some other animals we ended up going back to the first pet store and buying the hamster. So, we are now the proud owners of a Panda Hamster named Turquoise. So tell me, have you ever had hamsters or gerbils as pets? How'd they work out? What animal do you think makes the best child's pet?
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