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Mommy Talk
Tuesday January 26, 2010
Posted by: mlaehr at 1:19PM CST on January 26, 2010
On a recent Sunday morning, after we had hosted a Christmas party the night before, I woke up late. My husband had already left for work and I could hear my children puttering around in the kitchen.
Usually, that is cause for panic. Imagine my surprise when I walked into the room and found that my 6 and 7-year-old boys had gotten their little sister dressed, fed her breakfast and were busy cleaning up the kitchen.
They had started the dishwasher and washed the dishes still in the sink. The 6-year-old was sweeping the floor and my oldest was wiping down the counter tops.
I couldn’t believe it.
I guess it just goes to show how much can change in a year.
One year ago my boys were still making more mischief than anything else. They were still doing things like taking the black permanent marker to our white minivan and cutting their shirts with safety scissors.
My oldest was still too shy to raise his hand and talk in class. My younger son was still begging us to tie his shoes for him. My baby girl was still in diapers and didn’t have hair long enough for a proper ponytail.
Granted, they’re kids, and they still do irritating things like trying to flush paper bathroom cups down the toilet. But when I look at the big picture, I realize they are doing less and less of this and becoming more and more helpful and independent.
It makes me wonder how my family will grow this new year.
When my first son was just a toddler, I agonized as he transformed from my baby into a little boy. A friend at work told me to cherish the time when his personality began to show. He told me watching a 2 or 3-year-old grow into themselves is amazing.
He was right.
And the amazement just continues as they grow.
This past year riding a bike without training wheels, learning to read more difficult words and books, ice skating, losing a tooth, going potty on the toilet, learning cursive handwriting, double digit mathematics and figuring out just how long microwave popcorn has to cook before burning are just some of the new experiences my children have had.
I feel fortunate to have been able to watch their growth.
So what will 2010 bring?
I figure it will be full of more lost teeth, bike riding and math. There will be more new experiences and more mischief and more learning.
I just really hope that my daughter’s growth doesn’t include her brothers’ teaching her how to climb up into the cupboard to reach the permanent marker or how to flood the bathroom by flushing a paper cup.
From their point of view
Posted by: mlaehr at 1:11PM CST on January 26, 2010
I was working at the laptop in the kitchen. My husband was making dinner. My 6-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter walked past and announced they were going upstairs to play with Gregory the gecko.
I barely gave them a second glance. A few minutes later my 8-year-old said he was going to go upstairs and see what they were doing.
“OK,” I said to him.
Within seconds, my oldest was standing at the top of the stairs screaming.
“MOMMMMMM!” he yelled. “GET UP HERE!”
I envisioned the worst of scenarios. My daughter had covered herself in diaper cream. The lizard had been flushed down the toilet. Someone had peed on the carpet.
Nope.
Instead, I walked into my daughter’s room and found her stark naked and dancing about. She had taken every stitch of clothing off her body and out of her dresser drawers. The clothing formed a pile on her bedroom floor.
Then she jumped, right into the pile.
“Yaaahh!” she yelled, as she enthusiastically bounded about, dancing and jumping, dancing and jumping. I sat and watched her little show for a few minutes before putting an end to it.
“No, no,” I said, trying hard to sound serious and calm while stifling giggles.
I helped her get her clothes back on and then began re-folding clothes.
I wanted to be angry, but I couldn’t help myself. What she was doing looked fun - just as fun as jumping in the leaf piles we had made the previous fall in the backyard. Which is probably where she got the idea.
For the moment, looking at the innocent fun she was having, I wasn’t going to get upset over spilled clothes.
It may sound odd, but this was one of my favorite mom moments. Along with the jumping in the leaf piles, making a really sad little snowman, painting dragons and Star Wars characters with watercolors earlier this year and dozens of other memories.
These are the times when I’ve really connected with my children. They are the times when I’ve put aside being the mom who had to teach and discipline and protect and worry.
They are the times when I glimpse life through my children’s eyes.
When you’re becoming a parent for the first time and need to baby proof your house, experts recommend you get down on the floor, crawl around and look at your home as your child would. That way you can see dangers you might not otherwise notice.
But who tells you to prepare for being a parent by rolling around on the floor with a ball, or making a bird and nest out of Play-Doh, or reading classic children’s books?
I might never be able to relive the joy of tasting chocolate ice cream for the first time, or getting a 100 percent on a spelling test. I don’t really remember what it felt like to tie my shoe for the first time or when I had my first sleep over. I know I won’t ever be able to run or ride my bike with the same wild abandon and energy I had as a kid.
But I do know I want my children have all of these experiences. And if I’m lucky, maybe they’ll let me share in the joy.
Monday January 11, 2010
Posted by: Janine Anderson at 12:46PM CST on January 11, 2010
Bedtime is one of my favorite times of day. There's a toddler - teeth brushed, clean diaper, cozy pajamas, moon light turned on - who's ready to sit on my lap to cuddle in the rocking chair. It's there that I get to share one of my favorite pasttimes with him. We pick out several books, usually three, and start to read. He's got his favorites, and some nights he comes in wanting one we haven't read for a while. He gets on book kicks, where we have to read the same book over and over again. In the spirit of sharing (something we're working on these days), here's Henry's guide to the best books on the shelf. I'm always looking for a good book recommendation (for myself or my son), so leave your suggestions in the comments. 1. "Blue Hat, Green Hat," by Sandra Boynton. This was one of Henry's first favorite books. The turkey - who can never seem to get his clothes on right - cracks him up at every page. We have several of her books, and they're all great, but this one has a special place in our collection. 2. "There was an Ol' Cajun," by Deborah Kadair. This was a gift from a set of grandparents with connections to the South. It's a cute adaptation of the story of the old lady who swallowed a fly, with new animals to learn, and a lot of repetition. Henry particularly likes the pages that show all the animals cavorting in the Cajun's belly. 3. "Peedie," by Olivier Dunrea. Simple illustrations and a sweet story about a little gosling who forgets things keep the little one's attention. I tend to spend time thinking about how, in not so very much time, my little guy will be just like that. 4. "Are You My Mother?" by P.D. Eastman. This was one of my favorite books when I was little. My parents gave us a copy, and I love to read it to my son. It's a fairly long book (there's a shortened board book version of it, too), but there are animals on every page. I'm having a great time seeing Henry's relationship with this book change. He used to like it because the animals were familiar, but now I see him anticipating the plot, and rooting for the little bird to find his mother. Poor little thing. 5. The Trucktown books, by Jon Scieszka. I cannot say enough good things about these books. We've got three of them - "Truckery Rhymes," "Smash! Crash!" and "Melvin Might?" - and I only wish we had discovered them sooner. We got these as birthday gifts in November, and I think we've read at least one of them at least once every day since then. If you know a little one who likes trucks, I highly recommend them. The characters are a little rough and tumble, and get into the kinds of trouble that my 2-year-old can understand. I only wish the books were easier to find. Oh well, that's what Amazon.com is for, right? Have you got a favorite children's book recommendation? Monday December 21, 2009
Posted by: Janine Anderson at 10:28AM CST on December 21, 2009
Sometimes, a hug’s not enough. A kiss isn’t enough. A hair tussle, a hand-hold, a tickle. Not enough, not enough, not enough. They’ll suffice, but it’s not what he wants. What he wants is The Big X. The Big X takes the entire body, from head to toes, and the longest stretch of space you can find. I have no idea where The Big X came from. It just appeared one day. “Big X,” said the 2-year-old. “Big X.” Which, in 2-year-old speak, sounds an awful lot like “Big Ox.” Now, Henry knows quite a few of his animals, but ox? I don’t think that’s in the repertoire. When I looked at him, he had his arms stretched out in a big V over his head. Then I got it. X. Not ox. X. “Big X, Mama,” he said. So I made one. Arms up overhead, legs out. He laughed and ran toward me, crashing into my legs in hysterics. “Big X hug!” Then he ran back to do it again. And again. And again. He keeps asking for them. Once every day or two, he pulls out the Big X. It’s a hug of exuberance. This is one of the great joys of living with a toddler. He’s got no thought of whether or not he should give a hug or a kiss, to say hello or goodbye, to ask someone to play. He just does it. At some point in our transition from toddler to child to grown-up, it seems like we lose that. We worry about what others might think of us if we reach out, instead of just reaching out. The weeks from Thanksgiving to New Year’s always remind me of how much joy comes from being together. People make time for each other. The weather gets cold and the days get shorter, and it’s so easy to retreat into a cozy house. This season of holidays helps us break out of that. It’s easy to find a reason to get out, to connect with our loved ones and friends. We buy and make gifts, invite people over for dinner, throw parties. After Jan. 1, it takes a bit more effort. The calendar doesn’t provide us with ready-made reasons to open our houses and hearts. That’s no reason not to do it. It’s like Henry’s Big X. He doesn’t need a crazy, giant hug. But, man, is it fun. Friday November 27, 2009
Posted by: Janine Anderson at 5:07PM CST on November 27, 2009
Celebrity entourages are full of hangers-on, people riding the coattails of fame and fortune. They glitter, they party, they fall out of fashion. It’s non-stop drama, from the Rat Pack to the throng that follows P-Diddy around. Henry’s got an entourage, too. It’s an ever-shifting collection of toys, books and clothes. One day, you’re the most-loved toy in the house, and the next, you’re forgotten in the car. At the top of the heap right now are Ligh-ning Kuh-Queen and Porsche Sally — Matchbox-car-size versions of Lightning McQueen and Sally from the movie “Cars.” Mater, also from that movie, was on top for a few days. In a tragic set of circumstances, he was lost after a shopping trip to Lake Forest, Ill. Henry’s dismay was audible, but his need for Mater faded once he was introduced to Sally’s sparkling blue exterior. The King, whom Henry simply calls Blue Race Car, has also retreated to the second-tier. Mater has recently re-entered the scene, after spending a week in my trunk. Garbage Can, a purple garbage truck who’s fallen out of favor, is currently languishing in a plastic bag next to the potted plants. His buddy, Bus, is probably in there, too, but we don’t keep tabs on him. He was on the outs weeks ago. On the snuggle front, we’ve got “Doggy,” a stuffed dog; “Allicocker,” a stuffed alligator bigger than Henry; and “Monkey,” a stuffed monkey that cackles when you press its hand. Allicocker and Doggy are the front runners by far, though Monkey makes Henry laugh. He’s dragged out whenever the boy wants a giggle. In literary land, Jon Muth’s beautiful book “Zen Shorts,” which Henry asks for by the name of the main character, Stillwater, has taken second place to the Jon Scieszka Trucktown books. New arrivals in the house, Henry can’t get enough of “Smash! Crash!,” “Melvin Might,” and “Truckery Rhymes,” intensely-colored picture books with all the energy and trucks a boy could want. Those books are the new must-read at bedtime. It was so easy when he was very small. He wasn’t fussy about what toys he played with. He never had a favorite blanket or toy. That’s all changed. Henry wants to bring his favorites with him everywhere. In the car, to the table, to day care. He once took 30 minutes to eat a grilled cheese sandwich because he wouldn’t let go of the two cars. Every piece of the sandwich was picked up between his car-clutching hands. Half of the pieces didn’t make it into his mouth. And now, instead of listening for the cries of a hungry baby, I listen for the words of the distressed toddler — “Where Ligh-ning Kuh-Queen?” — when the car falls through the slats of the crib or is hidden beneath a blanket. As soon as he’s got it, he snuggles back down and falls asleep, surrounded by his groupies. Written by Janine Anderson. Anderson is mom to 2-year-old Henry. Contact her at (262) 631-1703 or janine.anderson@journaltimes.com. Mommy Talk is an online parenting blog written by Journal Times reporters Janine Anderson and Marci Laehr Tenuta. Find it online at: . Friday November 20, 2009
Posted by: mlaehr at 6:28PM CST on November 20, 2009
When my nieces were 4 and 6 years old, the 6-year-old lost her first tooth. Sitting at the counter in my mother’s kitchen, she proudly showed her younger cousin what had happened. “That better not happen to me,” the younger one said. “My mom would be mad.” ...
My oldest has finally lost the top front tooth that had been sticking straight out of his mouth for at least two months. He looked like a cartoon character. I swear towards the end, that tooth was actually moving back and forth as he spoke. But as ridiculous as the tooth looked, and despite our frequent threats that the “big boy” tooth that was growing in behind it would be crooked, my 7-year-old refused to pull his tooth out. Not even the Tooth Fairy could convince him. He cried. He whined. He held an ice pack to his mouth. He used up at least three rolls of paper towel. But he refused to actually pluck the tooth out. One night, a little more than a week ago, he went to bed with the tooth practically dangling by a string. “Are you sure you don’t want Mom to just pull it?” I asked. “No!” he screamed. “It’s your fault it’s like this!” Earlier in the day I had persuaded him to let me try and get it out. I loosened it more and he was mad. I didn’t get it. Wasn’t I supposed to be loosening it for him? “But you pull too hard,” he said. Would you believe this is the fifth tooth he’s lost? Every single time it’s a big production. For days he’ll let a loose tooth dangle from his gums. When we suggest he get a paper towel and wiggle it or let us pluck it out, he throws a fit.
This last tooth actually fell out of his mouth while he was sleeping. Who knew a loose tooth could be so traumatic? My goodness.
I remember sitting in the bathroom mirror for hours the minute I felt a loose tooth. I wanted that quarter from the Tooth Fairy. Now she can’t even tempt my oldest with $5!
My 6-year-old is very matter-of-fact about the whole tooth losing situation. When he has a tooth that’s loose enough, he takes a paper towel and wiggles it until it comes out. Why on earth is it such a big deal for my oldest, I wondered? So I did what any modern day mom does when she has a burning child-rearing question: I googled it. Would you believe there are thousands of articles, blogs, tips and even books on how to deal with a child reluctant to lose their first tooth? Really? One article I read even suggested that if you don’t make losing a tooth a “good” experience for your child, they could end up dreading the dentist forever. Good gravy! Sometimes it takes seeing the absurd reaction of other parents out there to realize that you’re also reacting over-the-top to a situation. So I’m not looking forward to the next loose tooth, but I have vowed not to make just as big a stink about it as my son does. Maybe if I shrug it off as no big deal, he will too. ... My sister recently asked me what I do when the Tooth Fairy collects my children’s baby teeth. I’ve kept a few in an envelope in my dresser, but it’s not like I’m going to save them and have them bronzed someday.
“What did you do with the girls’?” I asked. She told me she has kept every single baby tooth her two now teenage daughters lost in a little jar. Yuck, right?! “What do you do with them?” I asked. “Take them out and look at them?” Thursday November 5, 2009
Posted by: Janine Anderson at 3:23PM CST on November 5, 2009
“Wear monkey boots!” If Henry sees his rain boots — brown, with monkey faces on the toes — he wants to wear them. “Wear monkey boots!” If the answer is no, there is crying. Lots and lots of crying. If yes, there is a giant grin, and two-handed waves at toes, and “Hi monkeys!” out of a 2-year-old’s mouth. I’m learning to pick my battles. Footwear is one that, for now, Henry is winning. The kid is obsessed with socks and shoes. Since early October, he’d come home from his grandparents’ house wearing new socks. Pumpkins, spiders, Snoopy, skulls. He loved every single one of them. And every morning, when it was time to get dressed, he’d request a pair. The white, blue and brown socks we had plenty of were no longer good enough. Now, Henry was all “pumpkin socks,” and “spider socks,” and “Snoopy socks.” If they were clean, I’d usually oblige. Then he’d start in on the shoes. Some days he’d want the white athletic shoes, other days his blue shoes. For about a week, all he would wear were his newest pair of shoes (which were too big, and which Scott put on him one day without knowing they were supposed to be saved for another six weeks or so). His favorite combination: The bright orange pumpkin socks, with the sparkly jack-o-lantern face, paired with the too-big blue and brown shoes with orange accents. Where on earth is he getting this from? I admit, I watch Project Runway, but it’s always after Henry’s in bed. This seems to be one of these fun, new areas where Henry’s personality is coming through. There’s joke-telling. The favorite is to point at something and say “That’s not (fill-in-the-blank)!” He’ll point at the table and say “That’s not kitty!” and crack up. He laughs so hard that he can’t hold his head up. I’ve heard friends with older children talk about how their sons and daughters showed parts of their personalities early on. One, adventurous, the other reserved. A girly-girl. A tomboy. Quiet. Exuberant. Silly. Serious. At 2, Henry’s personality is starting to come through in a concrete way. He doesn’t like it when things are broken. He loves to color and draw. If given the choice, he’d go fast. Outside is his preferred environment. For his first birthday, we spent part of the day at the Milwaukee Art Museum, at an exhibit with lots of moving parts, flashing lights and sounds. He was fascinated by all the things to look at, and we enjoyed exploring the installations. This year, we might take him to a petting farm, or Shedd Aquarium. This summer, we’ll take him camping. Watching him discover the world, and watching his emerging personality, is absolute joy. I have no idea where he’s getting some of the things he enjoys, but in many ways, that’s how I like it. Without understanding where it came from, I can just enjoy the ride. Even on the days when he can’t wear his monkey boots. Written by Janine Anderson. Anderson is mom to 2-year-old Henry. Contact her at (262) 631-1703 or janine.anderson@journaltimes.com. Mommy Talk is an online parenting blog written by Journal Times reporters Janine Anderson and Marci Laehr Tenuta. Find it online at: http://my.journaltimes.com/mommytalk. Friday October 30, 2009
Posted by: mlaehr at 4:07PM CST on October 30, 2009
I have been known to tell my children, “Put it on your Christmas list,” in July. They’re kids. They want everything. Every new toy they see advertised on TV. Every cool thing a friend, neighbor, classmate or cousin has. They want a dog, a laptop computer, a Blackberry and a Darth Vader mask with a built-in voice changer. When they’ve made their requests over Rice Krispies on a hot August morning or a chilly February afternoon, I’d always say “Put it on your Christmas list.” It was the ultimate solution. I wasn’t saying no to the $2,000 laptop or the expensive plastic Star Wars toy that would be broken within a week. I wasn’t even saying I would buy it some day. I was simply telling them that they could ask for the object of their momentary affection from Santa. And they were satisfied with that. More recently, this has become a problem. I’ve discovered that the memories and attention spans of 6 and 7-year-old boys are quite remarkable compared to 4 and 5-year-old boys. THEY REMEMBER. When the big toy store catalog came a few weeks ago, they pulled out fresh sheets of paper and a couple of markers. They RESEARCHED the toys they have been asking for for several months now online. They wrote down the name of the toy, then reported the cost and what web site they found it on to me. I swear. My boys even discussed which toys to put on their “Santa” list, because those items were expensive and they weren’t likely to receive them from Mom and Dad. Can you believe it? Don’t get me wrong, my kids love Halloween. They, again, spent weeks after the start of school looking for really good Star Wars costumes online. When they discovered that none of those outrageously cool and pricey get-ups were available in local stores, they settled for Transformer costumes - which are actually kind of awesome. We went to the pumpkin farm, drank apple cider, carved pumpkins - including one we grew in our garden this year - and have put away some of the summer toys and bikes that have littered the yard for the past few months. Earlier this week the boys helped my husband rake leaves and clean out the vegetable garden. It smells like fall (wet earth and cinnamon). It sounds like fall (crunch, crunch). It feels like fall (crisp winds and chilly nights). So why is Christmas intruding on one of my favorite seasons already!? That’s what I was thinking, in a huff, the other day when my sons presented me with their wish lists. I made a big stink about putting the lists on the kitchen desk in the spot where I keep important papers. But I really wanted to throw them away. Isn’t that awful? My kids spent so much time on those long, long, long lists, and I didn’t even want to look at them. But I did. They won’t get half the things on them, but I’m sure they won’t be disappointed come December 25. Heck, they might not even remember. Then again ... |
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